Change isn't a threat - it's a rebirth

Dear reader,

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”

— William Faulkner

You know how scary change is? How the thought of breaking routine Is so frightening that you rather stay in spaces and situations that no longer serve you just because it’s better than trying out something new? I’ve been there, hell, I think we all have! There was this time I had to move schools right when I was falling in love with the school I was in at the moment (and a boy) and I was so bitter about having to start over. I was mad and frightened especially because my new school to be, was named after a saint. I thought I’d have to wear long odd skirts and do odd monotonous cornrows or shave my head bald. I honestly thought the worst of the situation and I just wanted to stay where I was. I was comfortable. I wasn’t studying much but I was ok with that. I liked it there. I even tried desperately to fail the interview to the new school but I performed exceptionally well, much to my dismay. I was so afraid of the unknown and new culture that one month of being in that new school, I noticed I was slowly changing and I wrote one very interesting journal entry where I said that the students there were turning me into one of them. Exaggerated for sure but it shows how opposed I was to that change.

I could write a lot about my experience adapting to that change but that’s for another day. I can tell you however that I eventually came to love that place. I outgrew my younger self there; I found a lot of wisdom and I found friends… amazing ones, who made life so much more colourful. Now I look back and think that it would’ve been so much more exciting if I hadn’t spent the first few months crying and waiting for familiarity to save me from the novelty.

COUNTERING THE FEAR OF CHANGE WITH THE NECESSITY OF IT

Change is the act or process of becoming different. It’s the transformation, the shift, the letting go of what was in order to make space for what could be

Change is often perceived as scary due to the fear of loss and instinctual desire for stability which can trigger anxiety and resistance. We fear change for one or more of the following reasons:

1. Uncertainty of the unknown

2. Fear of loss

3. Psychological resistance

4. Survival instincts

5. The need for control

6. Negative experiences

7. Fear of failure

8. Fear of criticism

9. The want for instant gratification

10. Fear of responsibility

There’re many reasons you could give when you feel that you aren’t ready for change and no matter how you phrase your excuse, it almost always comes down to one or more of these ten things.  As soon as you understand what’s going on in your mind that makes change so scary then you can better curb the tendency to fear it. Change an be positive or negative, and we can’t know if it’s been good for us or not until time passes and the curtains lift to reveal the outcomes.

However, I can say it with confidence that change often makes us better.

It helps us grow.

We should be aiming for it.

But that’ll require a resistance of our natural instinct to resist change. Our mental inertia (I’m feeling very proud of myself for applying physics to this)

There’s a quiet terror in starting over. Not because we don’t believe in new beginnings, but because we’ve tasted disappointment before. We’ve built things that crumbled. We’ve trusted paths that vanished. We’ve loved versions of ourselves that no longer fit.

But here’s the truth: Starting over isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s the moment you choose to honour your growth more than your comfort. It’s the brave act of saying, “I deserve a life that feels like mine.”

The fear will come. It always does. But so will the clarity, the strength, and the quiet joy of becoming someone you actually recognize.

So, if you’re standing at the edge of something new, trembling and unsure— know this:

You’re not starting from scratch.

You’re starting from experience.

Change is important for 3 main reasons

1. Personal growth – I’ve grown to love change because it gives room for personal evolution. It allows you to become a better version of yourself.

2.  It builds your resilience- every change teaches you how to bounce back stronger, better and in more control than before.

3. You learn to be flexible and that gives you access to a whole lot of opportunities that you hadn’t even thought to explore.

So, you see, starting over isn’t a collapse, it’s a reckoning.

It’s messy for sure and you’ll grieve things and people you thought you were done grieving. When faced with change you’ll question your worth, your sanity, your timing. You’ll want to run back, even if it’s only for a moment, to the comfort of what you once knew.

How you handle change is the essence of your existence and the key to your happiness.

Everything changes, the question is, how do you change with it?

If this resonates with you and you’re at that point of change then open your heart and mind to the possibility of a better life, a better experience. Stay willing to believe that something good can arise from the ashes of what didn’t work. If you find that on some days you feel a bit lost in that process of transformation then it’s because you’ve outgrown your old self and your new self is still becoming,

You aren’t broken; you’re rebuilding. And change, despite its scary nature, might just be the most beautiful thing that happens to you.

Love,

Me <3

find a reason to fly, not a reason to fall

P.S: It gets better and love, the real kind, always wins.