Friendships on a larger spectrum.

Dear reader,

As human beings, we require connections and social interactions. Beyond family, friendships form the foundation of our social lives.

Think about it, your favourite kindergarten memory is probably some tom-foolery moment you and your best friend had, and as you think about your life growing older, every phase and different stage has highlights that are highlights simply because you did something, in the company of your friends. The experiences become richer when shared.

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. " ~Henry Ford

We often assume that friendship is binary, but the truth is, friendships live on a spectrum, some connections are deep wells of support, others are light breezes of joy, and a few are simply echoes of who you used to be. Friendships are so diverse such that there're different types of friendships. and even then, these categories don't serve justice to how diverse friendships can be.

Now, understanding the friendships you have, isn't about judgement, it's about clarity. When you name the role, someone plays in your life, you reclaim the power to choose how that relationship shapes your life, your mood and the influence the person has over you.

True friends embrace who you are, but they also help you become better. And in the season of becoming, that choice matters more than anything.

Types of friendships

Different classification systems exist but the most foundational system is the ne Aristotle outlined. He categorized friendships into three categories

1. Friendships of utility

2. friendships of pleasure

3. Friendships of virtue

Friendships of utility

These are friendships based on the benefit of each person to the other. It stays alive only for as long as the "usefulness" is alive.

These friendships are majorly transactional and often temporary.

For instance, you and Carol (Not any particular person) are colleagues, Carol does the best data recording, and you are amazing at analytics. You and Carol have nothing in common save for the fact that you work together and in order to produce the best data sets you need to have a symbiotic relationship. You like tea, she loves coffee instead so your friendship will be limited to the office and in the case that you relocate, you and carol might never talk again simply because you won't have a reason enough to keep the relationship going.

Friendships of pleasure

These are friendships that have their foundation lain on the enjoyment or pleasure derived from the other person's company.

They're based on shared activities and mostly fleeting emotions and can dissolve when common interests change.

For instance, you and Paul (still not any one in particular) met at a knitting club. You were in your knitting era for a while and having Paul, who you met there, around became part of the reason why you looked forward to the club meetings. Then one day you wake up and decide it's time for a Yoga era. Now, as much as you enjoyed knitting with Paul, there will be an almost instant drift when your interests change.

Friendships of virtue

Now this is my absolute favourite category.

These are friendships based on mutual admiration and respect for the other person's character and goodness.

These are based on deep trust, shared values and a desire to see the other person become a better version of themselves. they're rare and take a long time to cultivate and grow.

For instance, you and your childhood best friend Ryan (might be a one in particular) know each other, accept each other completely and help each other grow through literally everything, from your job with Carol and your knitting with Paul.

Now, friendships aren't exactly black and white and there're so many systems of classification. Can you have a friendship of virtue with Carol from work? Absolutely!

It's important to think of friendships as alive. They grow, and sometimes they die. And there're definitely lots of bumps along the way!

By recognizing the nature of each bond, you can invest your energy wisely and appreciate the unique values each of your friends brings. After all, variety is the spice of life.

Love,

Me <3

P.S.: It gets better, and love, the real kind, always wins.