The telltale marks of a forever friendship

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learnt the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learnt anything.

Dear reader,

Nothing tests friendships and relationships quite like long distance.I know this because travelling halfway across the world sheds light on so much, filters quite a lot and highlights the people you can rely on regardless of time difference.

A wise friend once told me that the best friends are those that you can sit with in silence and not feel uncomfortable. Another one told me, the best friends are the ones who you can go for days, months or even a year without talking and when you meet again, it’ll be like you never parted ways.

Friendship is one of life's greatest treasures.

It's about finding those special souls who truly "get" you, who celebrate your victories, and who offer a shoulder to cry on when things get tough. These are the friends who become your chosen family, the ones who feel like home.

But how do you know when you've found those lifelong companions?

It’s not always about grand gestures; often, it’s in the quiet moments and consistent actions.

Now, you’re probably wondering, what are the signs? If Ryan isn’t buying me a Rolls Royce for my birthday then how do I know he’s my friend?

1. Friends Celebrate Your Successes (Big and Small)

True friends aren't jealous of your accomplishments; they amplify them!

Whether you landed your dream job, mastered a new skill, or simply had a great hair day; they’re genuinely thrilled for you. Their joy for your happiness is palpable, making your victories even sweeter.

Often it’s because they know you and have seen your pain and struggle and they understand how much your victory in whatever means to you. A stranger celebrate your success, but not the way a friend can.

2. They Offer Unconditional Support (Even When You Mess Up)

Life isn't always smooth sailing. When you stumble, make a mistake, or face a challenge, these friends don't judge. Instead, they stand by you, offering encouragement, a listening ear, and practical help. They believe in your ability to overcome obstacles and remind you of your strength.

It’s like Dory and Marlin, from Finding Nemo. Dory didn’t quit on Marlin even when Marlin thought Dory’s memory loss was annoying.

3. You Can Be Your Authentic Self Around Them

There’s no need to put on a facade or pretend to be someone you’re not.

With these friends, you can let your guard down, be silly, vulnerable, and completely, authentically you. They love you for all your quirks and imperfections, making you feel truly seen and accepted.

At the end of the day, it’s going to be Laura that sticks around for life because you know you can be unhinged and unjudged when you’re with her. You’re at ease and at home.

4. They Listen More Than They Talk (and Truly Hear You)

It's easy to have conversations where people are just waiting for their turn to speak. But a true friend listens with their heart and mind, paying attention to what you're saying (and not saying). They ask thoughtful questions and remember the details that matter to you.

For instance, Josh and Joy(based on a true life story) are amazing friends. Joy notices that every time an insect so much as breaths near Josh, he freezes or freaks out. But one day, when Josh and Joy are just being and talking, Joy notices Josh has a bee on his shirt. Instead of loudly alerting Josh to the Bee, Joy just calmly told Josh to stay still and close his eyes . And Joy got the bee off Josh with no drama.

It’s a little thing for sure but it meant that Joy truly understood Josh.

5. They Challenge You to Grow

While they accept you as you are, they also push you to be your best self. They might call you out (gently) when you're making a poor decision, encourage you to pursue a dream, or offer a different perspective that helps you grow. Their challenges come from a place of love and a desire to see you thrive.

6. You Share a Comfortable Silence

Not every moment needs to be filled with conversation. With true friends, you can simply exist together in comfortable silence – reading, working, or just being. These moments are just as valuable as the lively discussions, signifying a deep level of peace and understanding.

7. They Make an Effort to Stay Connected

Life gets busy, and people move to different cities, but true friends make an effort to maintain the bond. Whether it's a regular phone call, a thoughtful text, or planning visits, they prioritize the friendship and actively work to keep it alive, no matter the distance or time apart.

Great friendships are work and the best friends are the ones that recognize this and put in the work.

Finding friends who feel like home is a beautiful journey. Cherish these individuals who enrich your life, support your spirit, and remind you that you're never truly alone. These are the friendships that truly stand the test of time. And even as you enjoy the company of your amazing friends ask yourself, “Am I a good friend to them as they are to me”

Love,

Me <3

P.S.: It gets better, and friendship, the real kind, always wins