How to Build Self-Trust After a Slump: 3 Psychology-Backed Steps

Dear Reader,

It's time to come clean.

The last few months of my life have been some of the most educational and transformative I’ve experienced. On the surface, everything looked like growth: new opportunities, expanded awareness, and the kind of progress people envy. Yet despite how green the grass appeared, I slipped into a period of quiet, mild depression that led to internal regression, and eventually showed up physically. (Yes, I even gained a couple of pounds)

The reason was surprisingly simple.

Every time I hit a rock or a minor obstacle, I outsourced my decision-making. I sought advice from everyone, friends, mentors, strangers online, and then filtered out the one opinion that mattered most: my own.

I knew how ten different people would have handled the same challenge. But I couldn’t integrate their solutions with who I am. That led to noise. Confusion. And eventually, self-sabotage rooted in self-doubt.

Research suggests that nearly 85% of people experience self-doubt at some point in their lives, which helps explain why so many capable, intelligent people struggle with trusting themselves, especially after periods of inconsistency or burnout.

I stopped believing I was creative enough to come up with solutions that worked for my life. I didn’t know whose advice applied to my specific situation, so instead of choosing, I did the one thing that felt familiar: I slumped.

I surrendered to quiet resignation and told myself, c’est la vie. (It was at this point when I befriended chocolate chip cookies)

Ironically, that slump became the teacher. It was exactly what I needed in order to understand a few very crucial facts.

I realized I wasn’t drained because I lacked options, I was exhausted because I had too many.

Too many voices.

Too many paths.

Too much external input.

What I felt wasn’t failure; it was overwhelm masquerading as doom.

And in the moment, I came closest to giving up on everything I knew I was capable of, one truth became painfully clear: the most transformational thing I could do was begin building self-trust again.

Self-trust isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity. Its direct opposite, self-doubt, is, both scientifically and philosophically, one of the greatest killers of dreams.

Jeff Bezos captures this idea perfectly when he says:

“Most decisions should probably be made with somewhere around 70% of the information you wish you had. If you wait for 90%, you’re probably being slow.”

He directly links indecision and over-analysis to stagnation, arguing that people and companies don’t fail because they make bad decisions, but because they make no decisions at all.

To break decision paralysis, you must limit your choices. And to limit your choices, you must trust yourself more than you trust every other voice in the room.

Here are three simple, practical ways to rebuild self-trust, even after a season of inconsistency.

1. Keep Small Promises to Yourself (and Track Them)

Say you’ll do something—and then do it.

Start small. Promise yourself you’ll drink eight glasses of water today. Or walk for ten minutes. Or study for twenty. Then follow through.

Once your mind sees that you’re not just a brilliant thinker but also an action-taker, self-trust begins to rebuild. You start believing you can handle bigger, more meaningful challenges. What once felt heavy begins to feel manageable—almost like a piece of cake.

Research published through the National Centre for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) shows that making and keeping commitments significantly increases follow-through and reinforces positive behavioural change. In short: promises work, especially when you keep them with yourself.

2. Make Fast, Low-Risk Decisions on Purpose

The next time you walk into a café, give yourself 30 seconds to choose your order—then decide.

No second-guessing. No polling friends. No standing in line spiralling.

Indecision erodes self-trust. Speed rebuilds it.

Train yourself to feel safe making clear, conclusive decisions in low-stakes environments so your nervous system doesn’t panic when the stakes are higher. (And yes, this is coming from someone who once squinted at a Starbucks menu for ten minutes and still didn’t know what coffee she wanted.)

3. Keep a Proof List

This is not a gratitude list. It’s evidence.

Every day, write down three things you handled well, big or small. Keep going until your mind can no longer deny the facts.

Self-doubt thrives on selective memory. Proof restores perspective.

You can also strengthen self-trust by reducing advice intake. When faced with a dilemma, consult no more than two people, then check in with yourself before deciding. Clarity returns when fewer voices exist.

And finally, do one hard thing every day.

As Mark Twain famously advised: EAT THAT FROG! (Preferably for breakfast) Do the uncomfortable task first. The one you’re avoiding. The one that scares you just enough to matter.

We tend to overestimate other people's abilities, and we tend to overestimate our own. You must compensate for this by trusting yourself more and others less. The concise 33 strategies of war, Robert Greene

Building self-trust isn’t about becoming fearless, perfectly consistent, or endlessly confident. It’s about rebuilding your relationship with yourself, one decision, one promise, one hard thing at a time.

If you’ve been inconsistent, it doesn’t mean you’re broken.

It means you’re human.

And the way forward isn’t more advice, more planning, or more external validation.

It’s fewer voices. Clearer choices. And the courage to believe that you are capable of figuring things out as you go.

Because when you trust yourself, decisions stop feeling like threats—and start feeling like opportunities.

And that’s when growth finally becomes sustainable.

Love,

Me <3

P.S.: It's going to get so much better. Trust me.